Hell friends. I am new to Faithbox. I am in need of prayers. This has been a tough year. A series of trials for me. My sons auntie (his dads twin sister) whom o grew up with closely like a sister passed away right before covid hit the us. The funeral was postponed as my sons father was getting out of prison after four years. (We are not together but he has maintained a phone relationship with our 13 year old). Then covid hit and the funeral was cancelled. His father relapsed within three days. My life turned upside down with all of this covid stuff. I heard god calling me back to him. I’ve been in a five year relationship with an alcoholic. We have been confined with all of this and his normal beer drinking has turned into whiskey. I selfishly didn’t listen to god when months ago he told me in his message to walk away... enough is enough. I’ve held onto hope. My family ended up getting sick in all of this. Three of us with dry cough. And severe chest pain, trouble breathing..So intense my sternum felt as though it was being crushed. One day it was so intense it scared me and sent me into a panic attack which I’ve never had in my life. I hyperventilated almost passed out. My boyfriend brought me to the ER. They put me on temporary anxiety meds and then sent us home with covid quarantine instructions. For days after I struggled with intense anxiety, intense panic attacks. I’ve stayed faithful in prayer and listening to god to get through it. I feel it has been spiritual warfare at play. My boyfriend has not been supportive and went as far as to tell me to go get medication permanently . (I’ve never had this mental health status in my life until this). His drinking has increased. We argue as we have his two kids full time and my 13 year old and he just drinks. He treats my son differently than his children. I’ve been at a loss and leaning on god. Today it exploded. I have told him I feel we need to separate. He took off with his two to his parents and is blaming me for our demise and saying I am the reason he drinks. I’m angry, hurt, and feeling foolish because I didn’t heed gods direction to go before. I’m trying to remain in faith as this year is just such a tough season. Please pray over me to remain in faith and trust gods in control.

Posted by sarahann at 2020-04-24 02:01:42 UTC